Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Scene 7

INT. FRAU KNOBLOCH'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - DAY
Frau Knobloch enters in a slightly more upscale bathrobe. Her hair shoots from the top of her head like a volcano.

JUTTA
Mutti!

FRAU KNOBLOCH
(unimpressed)
Er ist Dein Freund?
   SUBTITLES
   This is your boyfriend?

CHRIS
It's a pleasure to meet you, Frau Knoblau.
   SUBTITLES
   . . . Ms. Garlic

Frau Knobloch yells in Chris’s face, with extreme emphasis on the guttural “ch” such that it sounds similar to an incredible sneeze, horrifying Chris.

FRAU KNOBLOCH
Knobloch!!!

CHRIS
Bless you. ... By the way, the petite white
roses at the side of your yard are beautiful.
French?

FRAU KNOBLOCH
Was für ein Vollidiot!
   SUBTITLES
   What a complete idiot!

JUTTA
She’s pleased to meet you too. Mutti, English.

FRAU KNOBLOCH
(still angry)
Die Amis spinnen doch.

CHRIS
I caught that. Amis spinnen. Thanks.

Jutta laughs hysterically in an attempt to alleviate the tension. Frau Knobloch and Chris stare at Jutta, failing to comprehend the humor.

FRAU KNOBLOCH
(calming down)
Sit. We drink coffee, ja? You want Milch
with coffee?

Jutta is positioned out of Frau Knobloch’s view. She signals dramatically that Chris should respond “yes.”

CHRIS
Yes. Please.

FRAU KNOBLOCH
Sugar?

Jutta signals “no.”

CHRIS
No. No thank you.

FRAU KNOBLOCH
Schnapps?

Jutta urgently signals “no.”

CHRIS
No, never, but thank you.

Frau Knobloch notices Jutta’s violent hand waving, who then pretends to be fanning herself.

JUTTA
It’s a little warm.

FRAU KNOBLOCH
I bring coffee, ja?

Frau Knobloch goes into the kitchen.

JUTTA
You’re doing great. Just keep it up.

CHRIS
I just used up my whole conversation.

JUTTA
Ask her who she thinks shot JR.

CHRIS
JR?

JUTTA
You know, that old TV series “Dallas.”
She’s been watching reruns since I was
a kid. She loved it when JR got shot.

CHRIS
Does she take milk with her coffee?

JUTTA
My father’s death was traumatic, and now
she’s all alone. I worry about her getting
a little disconnected from the real world.
All she has is her TV.

CHRIS
It must have been hard losing her husband.

JUTTA
Happened right before I was born, but
she’s never gotten over it. She said she’s
dating someone, so that's a good sign, but
she wouldn’t give details.

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